Category Archives: Portugal

#justsaying, Customer Service, Lisbon, Portugal, Travel

Next To Nothing

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The collection of personal information by all shops I enter is astounding!

Almost all have a card of some sort: loyalty card, points card, discount card, the options are many. I have 4 airline voyager-type cards, my points are so scattered that any attempt at redeeming and getting value out of them is next to nothing. Actually, it is nothing!

While in Portugal, without exception as I get to the cashier to pay I get asked if I have their loyalty card. When I say no, they ask me if I want one. The answer is always no. I come here once a year so that any chance of getting any value out of such cards is next to nothing. Actually, it IS nothing!

In the queue of a sweltering book shop the cashier asked the person in front of me if he had a card. He said yes but didn’t have it with him. So she proceeded to ask him pertinent information to search for his card number on her system. This took a while as I stood in the queue feeling drops of perspiration snake down my back.

Then came my Mom’s turn to pay. The cashier asked if she had a card. My Mom said no. She then asked if my Mom wanted one. My Mom said yes as she buys a lot from them even though it is only once a year. The cashier then proceeded to collect my Mom’s personal information. This took time. In the sweltering shop it felt like forever.

The rewards offered by these cards are paltry compared to the amount of money you have to spend to get something back. And all the while you get spam SMSs and email offering you all sorts of things you would not take up in a million years.

I worked for a telemarketing company early in my career. Out of each campaign that ran if 10% of the leads generated converted to a sale then it was deemed to be successful. The same applied to mail drops. So I guess that if they get a 10% response out of each promo campaign they’re happy. Not at all like shooting fish in a barrel…or maybe it is…where the fish are tiny tiny goldfish.

I do not have issue with such cards – back in South Africa I have many and sometimes I get something out. I get them just to make the cashier happy. Maybe she gets assessed on how many cards she gets out. As as it does not cost me to have the card. Oh wait…?!? It does cost me to have these cards. Not in money but in the inconvenience of spam communications. It costs to opt-out. And what do I get out of them? Next to nothing! Actually, it is NOTHING!

Do you get anything out of such reward systems?

Portugal, Travel

The Flying Sardine

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The Airbus A380 is a magnificent machine. It is huge and as it lumbered down the runway I admit to wondering if it would take off and fly. With effortless ease the front wheels lifted and then the back wheels and before I knew it it was airborne.

The landing was equally effortless the wheels gently touching the tarmac and slowing down noiselessly. It is a feat of engineering and design.

What is not lekker about this aircraft is what people have done to it. By people I mean the airlines. I am talking about configuring the aircraft to cram as many people as possible into the downstairs area, commonly known as economy class.

The seats were not comfortable with not much leg room for my 5ft frame – I can only imagine how someone taller than me felt. When the seat in front of me was reclined the screen came closer to my face resulting in eye strain. I eventually gave up on the superb entertainment choices the airline offered.

ALERT! LAVATORIAL STUFF AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

When you cram this many people into a thin sheath things like toilets become important. Aircraft toilets are notorious just for being notorious. On this aircraft sections are smaller with 2 toilets serving each. So there are more toilets and they are pretty much the same as in all other aircraft. The not so pretty part is that they are over-subscribed.

I have never seen a plane loo used so much by so many people. This caused logistical issues – toilet paper and hand soap running out and keeping it clean and dry. No matter how much people flush the loo, if a piece of toilet paper gets stuck to the side wall out of reach of the water sprays no amount of flushing is going to get it unstuck. It just isn’t. I had never before seen a piece of toilet paper stuck on a plane loo until last night. I was not going to be the one to remove it (it was there before I went in). I flushed the toilet and it remained, stuck to the side.

<END> LAVATORIAL STUFF

I imagine that the A380 is great for airlines because they can cram more people and make more money. For the economy class passenger, in this aircraft configuration, it is no better than traveling on a much smaller plane.

I’ve travelled economy on many airlines and some get it just right – that sweet spot between comfortable seats with just enough leg room. Not so the airline I used this weekend. I trust this airline, its fleet is modern, the ground and flight crew and service is superb, they were on time every time, but it was a hell of a cramped ride. I felt like the proverbial sardine!