Category Archives: Learnings

An Existential Frame Of Mind

“You don’t have to stay anywhere forever.” 
Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones

“I’d come to realize that all our troubles spring from our failure to use plain, clear-cut language.” 
Jean-Paul Satre

“There are other men, and other lives, and time still to be.” 
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

“And so it was literature that brought me back to life.” 
Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air

“Whether it is rational or empirical, your approach to life must always be empathetic. Emotional intelligence is acquired when knowledge and empathy are combined and applied to situations regularly in everyday life.” 
Stewart Stafford

Do not forget to look up to the stars every now and then. The universe has made you conscious – try to make sense of how it works & appreciate its beauty.” 
Paul Hildebrandt

 

I’m Back…

The title above may seem flippant given that my absence from blogging was due to a bereavement in my close family circle. My brother-in-law passed away in December after being ill. Things got chaotic after that. I’ve been off work to support my sister and niece for a month and I go back on the 28th. On Wednesday it will be a month since he passed.

Meditation has kept stress and anxiety under control, although there are times that I wake up with the hands of anxiety trying to close around my heart. Things have begun to settle after the g-force pace of change of the last 3 weeks. I’m drained physically and emotionally. Homeopathics have helped, in particular, aconite and ignatia. So have walks with my niece followed by ice-cream 😉

Click on image to go to source.

 

The Wait

I’m grateful that a misunderstanding on the time for a customer meeting meant that I arrived 2 hours early rather 2 hours late. Thank goodness for coffee shops in corporates with wifi and workspaces with power points. The wait was no problem at all.

 

Disappointment

Today I felt disappointment deep and distressing.

Meaning: sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations.

Feelings of being taken for granted, and not being valued.

Thesaurus gives a whole bunch of synonyms:

  • defeated
  • lost
  • failure
  • mistake
  • bitter pill
  • setback

I related to all of the above. I’m thinking I need to snap out of it and think of the antonyms:

  • achievement
  • attainment
  • blessing
  • triumph
  • delight
  • miracle

Beaton from Becoming the Muse posted these true words yesterday…

“The only way to break out of it is break out of it and really succeed you have to make a conscious choice to do so, be proactive, use what you have— believe in yourself, have a plan, and go get it.”

…they’re keeping me going, planning, being proactive and the most difficult, believing in myself. Yes, believing in myself is the difference that will make the difference.

 

Finding A Place For My Hammock

In 2015 I came across this photo of Richard Branson lying in a hammock, on his phone, working…

Click on image to go to source

He has written about it a few times, here is an article, and it’s interesting that he notes that in the UK people don’t take leave, opting instead to remain in the office. Now, for me, that would lead to an unbalanced life.

I printed that photo and stuck it up in a place that I would look at various times a day. At the time I was working in a corporate, and it represented for me a change that I wanted to make in my life.

I wanted a more balanced life, one where I could work where I wanted when I wanted.

My dissatisfaction led me to write this article, and it was not long after that that I began working for the company I am with now. I have no office I go to – I’m either at a client, or I am at home. Or travelling.

My work has taken me to Berlin, Portugal, Barcelona, beautiful parts of the country I live in, Belgium and Thailand.

So, I pretty much can work where I want (no office to go to, yay!), the first part is done with a good level of satisfaction.

What I do now is the only work I know that I can take my wax crayons to work to create posters of information that help people integrate the learning a lot faster than powerpoint slides. Like this poster I created to explain Lean Thinking:

Lean Thinking explained in pictures
©2018 Regina Martins

I’m now working on the second part…the part about working when I want :-). This is proving to be a bit more challenging because it means having to let go of salary certainty and embracing uncertainty and risk.

Not my image, click to go to source

This will come I know. I just need to stop obsessing about it and enjoy the present. In the meantime, I still have that photo up where I can look at it several times a day.

Here are 4 different ways that help me deal with uncertainty:

  1. Meditation – it helps me focus on the present and deal with stress and anxiety. I’m not doing nearly enough meditation.
  2. Adaptive action – taking just one move at a time while keeping a view of the big picture, much like playing chess. Just decide on what my next wise move is and focus on that because that leads me to my next wise move and so on. That way I remain adaptive to change.
  3. Nature – being in nature grounds me and helps me keep my balance. I don’t get out to nature often enough. Sometimes just having the doors and windows open, letting the outside in and enjoying the sounds of the birds singing is enough to tide me over until I can get out into the countryside.
  4. Journaling – writing, journaling, reflecting on my inner thoughts. This helps me see clarity, usually not in the moment of writing, but later. The act of putting thoughts down on paper is therapy in itself. Journaling doesn’t have to be long descriptive narratives. Sometimes all I have time and energy for are bullet points, and that’s ok.
Click on image for source

Here’s to being comfortable with uncertainty, open to infinite possibilities, so that I can find a place for my hammock.