Category Archives: Knysna

The end of the sticky tape

Christmas present wrapping normally presents with some interesting problems. Like wrapping irregular shaped presents, and being left over with pieces of paper that fit no present and can’t be used for much.

And what about those big presents that need more than 1 roll to wrap and you don’t have matching paper (for those OCD types this must pose quite a conundrum). And running out of paper on Christmas Eve must count as one of the worse things ever! Oh…and what about running out of sticky tape?

But the one faced yesterday in a certain Knysna household involved the end of the sticky tape. Like, where is it…?

A certain Granny Greene comes into the dining room at 1am and the following is what transpired. Jethro Tull is blaring in the background so the voices are slightly raised.

Granny Greene: I’m going to call it a day, because I’m p&%$ off. My eyes are tired, I can’t see properly anymore and I can’t find the end of the sticky tape.

My husband: I think that’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.

Sister-in-law: We’ve got no trouble finding our end, we’re holding up our end of the bargain. (holds up the roll with the end sticking up).

Granny Greene: Well I’ve lost it, I’m like the lost lambs.

My husband: I’m reconsidering going to Mass on Christmas Day with you because you’re a bad influence.

Granny Greene: I dropped the tape on the carpet and it got stuck on the carpet. I can’t find the f&%$ end.

My husband: Oh well, now you tell us you dropped it on the carpet. Then it should be obvious which is the end – it’s the furry end.

Granny Greene: Next year I’m going to give money, you can all get your own and wrap them.

My husband: Here’s the queue…(pointing behind him).

The following morning Granny Greene announced that she was the last to finish wrapping presents.

So here are 5 awesome tips to prevent losing the end of the sticky tape…and your mind:

  • Go Mythbusters and use duct-tape.
  • Use green Pick and Pay bags.
  • Don’t wrap presents.
  • Give money.
  • Try not to wrap presents at 1am.

It was all tears-running-down-the-face funny.

Trust me.

Ok, maybe you had to be there 🙂

Crab for the risotto

I don’t remember the drive from Joburg to Knysna taking so long! The quickest we’ve ever done it was 9 hours – sans roadworks, petrol queues, rain and N1 closure and diversion. Yesterday it took us 13 hours – with roadworks, petrol queues, rain and N1 closure and diversion.

At Willowmore we met a female biker filling her Honda superbike with petrol. She had left Joburg at 2pm – we spoke at 7pm – 5 hours to travel 1000 kms (by that time we’d been on the road for 10 hours). That’s some low-level flying. My beautiful car doesn’t do too badly, and my beautiful bike will do better…

Despite the tediousness of the drive we had some interesting experiences with the local wildlife. Just outside Willowmore we rounded a curve and this humungous tortoise was crossing the road and had managed to make it right into the middle of our lane in the narrow road. It was dusk and it blended into the grey tarmac, I sensed something move in front of me (can you believe it :-)) and swerved to avoid it. Thankfully there were no oncoming cars or any one behind me. And I wasn’t even speeding – well, not too much anyway. In the split second it took to swerve thoughts of the kiddies story about the tortoise and the hare came unbidden to my mind. I assume that race didn’t take place on a lonely stretch of highway in the Karoo because I didn’t see any hares or rabbits. Only lots of sheep and goats.

Just outside Uniondale, 2 guineafowl decided to cross the road in front of us. Again, we were the only car on the road at that time. I slowed down, HOPING that they would realise the folly of their decision and quickly scuttle back to the safety of the veld on the side of the road – but NOOOOO! They continued on, one behind the other – but they got to the middle-line and slowed down. I didn’t, however, see them turn back. A few seconds later we passed a minibus taxi towing a Venter trailer…as I write this post I am unsure as to the fate of those guineafowl.

The last interesting experience was on the N2 close to Wilderness. It was dark already and there weren’t many cars on the road then either. I thought I saw a crab, big and red, crossing the road in front of the car. I wasn’t driving at the time which was probably a good thing.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Eddie, is that a crab crossing the road in front of us?

Eddie: Ummm… weeeelll…act-u-a-lly that looks more like a fanta can to me (he says this to me very slowly, as though taking to a child LOL)…but IF it looks like a crab to you, then we HAVE to stop RIGHT now and rest…but if it’s REALLY a crab, then let me know when you see another one, and I’ll grab it for the risotto!

This last experience with the local wildlife sums up my experience of the road trip to Knysna – tiring and mind-numbing – and it felt like I was in a twilight zone which stretched on for over a 1000 miles.

Next time I will fly…